Bartering with God

I am a MASTER bargain shopper! Listen, when I say MASTER, I mean just that. I am not a professional at many things but I am definitely a professional at finding a good deal. I have a few golden rules when I shop.

1) Never pay full price.
2) Always check for a coupon.
3) If I absolutely HAVE to have it, I need to think of at least 5 ways it can fit into my wardrobe before I leave the dressing room.

Those are my rules and I stick to them. Faithfully. Being a wonderfully money conscious shopper also makes me a professional barterer. My inability to pay a lot of money for things forces me to barter with others and sometimes even myself. A conversation in a store may produce me picking up 5 shirts and bartering with myself to only get one expensive one and two cheaper ones. I’ve gotten pretty good at bartering over the years.

I used to even barter with God.

My bartering with God was at an all time high during my high school and undergraduate career.

Now look, I KNOW I can’t be the only one that has done this.

Leslie, How in the WORLD do you barter with God?


“God, if you just don’t let me get caught skipping, I promise I won’t ever do it again.”
“God, if you just don’t let me get this ticket, I promise I will never speed again.”
“God, if you just let us get home safely, I promise I will go to church Sunday.”
“God, if you just let me go out a few more times, then I will get my life right.”

And I won’t even share some of the worse bartering deals I have made…

They always followed the same pattern. I was living an unhealthy lifestyle and I still sought out God’s graces. Yet, I am still fulfilled in knowing that the Holy Spirit still convicted me of my wrongdoings. It was this conviction that led me to begin bartering with God in the first place.

I wanted God on my terms. I wanted to enjoy the life I was living while bartering with God to ensure I didn’t get in trouble for it and that I still fell within his graces. And for years, I thought that I was being pretty successful. Yeah, sometimes I got caught and yeah, sometimes my bartering failed, but all in all, I thought I had done pretty good.

And then I realized, God had not bartered with me. God is not one to partake in negotiations concerning salvation. There is a clear way to salvation and I was trying to get around it. I was trying to have God’s salvation on my terms. Instead, God was allowing me to live the life that I thought I wanted but he never left me. And I know he never left me because of my constant sense of conviction. The ever-present Holy Spirit was there as a reminder of what I was constantly turning my back to.

So, turns out, I am a pretty sucky barterer.

Sometimes it’s harsh to realize that God is an all or nothing God. Sometimes, as a twenty something, that’s a difficult reality. But you know what’s harsher, realizing that there is only heaven or hell, and I do not think my bartering skills are strong enough to barter me out of hell. . .

Peeps. I since have retired my bartering ways when it comes to God and will instead keep my cheapskate mentality for the department stores.

My barter skills have turned into be being a professional at asking for forgiveness. Instead of asking for blessings when I sin, I instead turn my face to God and ask for only his forgiveness.

Dearies, give up your bartering. I can assure you that you are absolutely failing at bartering with God.


Miss Locklear

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