Dear Santa,

What’s up?

Over the past few years I have neglected your existence in lieu of my passion to grow up and become and adult. This year, I rebuke the idea of you not existing and have purged on movies that exalt your existence. For example, just this year, I have watched “Polar Express” three times and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” twice. I think I might believe again..

Anywho, it is customary for ‘believers’ to write you a letter requesting particular items that we find pleasing. So, of course, I want to throw my list in with the lot.

You may ask why I am choosing to reclaim my beliefs after such a long time. Santa, being an adult is expensive. My previous belief in your rested in me asking for frivolous things such as CD’s and remember that Christmas I only wanted socks. I am grown now Santa.

Now on to this list..

  1. Toilet Paper. I am slightly disgusted at the price of toilet paper. But what can I do? Nothing. Because the ‘big man’ knows I need it so he can make that mess ANY PRICE HE LIKES. And you see the way my derriere works I just can’t get down with any ole’ paper, Santa, I got’s to have Charmin.
  2. Appreciation. I never really understood the pressure to have it all figured out until my senior year at Carolina and now that pressure is on level 100.. I am constantly bombarded with questions about my career and my intentions with my degree. While I appreciate your concern, I also understand that 96% of these questions are founded on nosiness and not concern for my well-being. So, Santa, appreciation on both sides would be great. Help me learn to appreciate how far I have come. Help me appreciate the journey that I am taking and help other’s do the same.
  3. Payback. Santa, I don’t know if you understand how much payback that people in my life deserve. Let’s make a list. My family… Help me pay them back for the 23 years that they have supported me in so many ways. Financially. Emotionally. Mentally. Lawd, EVERYTHING. My friends, these people deserve the world. I know you have seen my behavioral streak over the past few years so you understand why these people deserve everything in that big red sack of yours.
  4. Maturity. Santa, I don’t know HOW to be a doctoral student yet. I am forced to act 35 with the mentality of a 21 year old. I got a long way to go Santa but this is inhibiting me from making adult friends and I need adult friends. So, some maturity along with this intelligence would be great.
  5. Justice. 2014 has been a challenging year for the minoritized people of this country. And it’s heartbreaking to become aware of the situation we are in, so justice is needed. In so many ways. In various forms. For various peoples. I ask for justice.
  6. Dish Detergent. Let me tell you what Santa, I loathe picking out dish detergent almost as much as I loathe having to buy only ONE smelly scent at Bath & Body Works mainly because indecisiveness is the bane of my existence. So a box full of different smells, sizes and brands of dish detergent would be great. Because my dishes in the sink and I’m choosey..

Santa, I have presented you with a tall order. To make this a little easier on you and Rudolph ima take number 2-5 to Jesus but ima hold you accountable for number one and six..So, don’t mess this up.

xoxo

Miss Locklear

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s